We said a teary-eyed and bleary-eyed goodbye to Zagreb (it was 4am) and with our friends in tow, began to make our way across Croatia to Split on the bus.
Next time! The big one… SAIL CROATIA.
I bring you a belated part 2 chronicling how my specialmanfriend and I got our wander on across Germany, Croatia, Bosnia and Austria. We say “auf wieder-something” to Berlin… and “ne govorim hrvatski” (I don’t speak Croatian) to Zagreb, Croatia.
Zagreb is hot, leafy and kicks some Italian buttface in the icecream/gelati department.
Great, now I have the Pokemon theme in my head. Thanks a lot, Croatia… Here’s a link to something that isn’t the Pokemon theme.
Next time: we visit heaven on earth, Plitvice Lakes National Park.
My special man friend and I recently returned from a three week sojourn to Europe where we laughed and ate our way through four amazing countries. Although I would have liked to blog on the go, I was too busy enjoying myself. (Laziness is the moral obligation of all holiday makers!)
So here to start us off, is a salt-encrusted, cinnamon-dusted, chocolate-dipped aftertaste of Berlin.
Other Berlin favourites include the DDR Museum (an interactive exhibition about everyday life in East Germany) Tiergarten Park (the city’s largest park where everyone nudes up as soon as the temperature rises above 21 degrees) and Berlin Unterweldten (guided subterratean tours of historical Berlin).
Then after Berlin we flew to Zagreb, but that is a story for another day!
I’m not going to sugarcoat it.
(Actually, a sugarcoating would probably make them even tastier) Gyoza dumplings are a total gateway drug. If consumption goes unchecked, recreational use (such as eating dumplings socially with friends) can quickly spiral out of control… and within months the user will be cutting gyoza with something harder (perhaps the dumpling’s equally addictive cousin crack cocaine).
Taken medicinally, gyoza can play an excellent nursemaid to a snot monster (lots of garlic, ginger and chilli to help boost the body’s natural cold defenses).
But how do you make these little silky crescents of awesome? Let’s explore.
WHAT YOU NEED:
(We ran out of camera battery here and had to resort to ye ole crappy iphone camera. Nice one Apple.)
After they were ready, we descended on them like hyenas and never took the wannabe food stylist shot.
Imagine they looked as good as this:
Gyoza you good thing!
…that if someone (a hypothetical someone) bought these jeans and wore them… from a distance they’d look naked but completely devoid of genitalia?
(And maybe super wrinkly around the knees?)
After a mini sabbatical, Christie has shamed me into posting! Thank you, Christie for helping to bring the world my babble. Hope I’m not too rusty… let’s see…
I was reminicing about my time spent in Montréal today and was reminded of my friend Tom’s birthday spent at the very memorable O.Noir restaurant. At O.Noir, dining is experienced in complete darkness and the waitstaff are all legally blind. Because we were 21 year old girls and also a few wines in, we thought it would be hysterical if we all swapped clothes during the course of the meal to see if the boys in our group noticed our costume change when we were leaving. So we did. Ever delivered your order to a waiter topless? No, well then you haven’t lived….
…Wait, let me finish… you haven’t lived through the awkwardness. As I sat there, waiting for Erin to pass me her top, the waiter came over, put his hand on my naked shoulder (they do this to let you know they’re addressing you) and asked me what I would like to eat this evening. He knew exactly what we were doing and wasn’t amused (or apparantly turned on… whatever, I give awesome shoulder). So I look back on that experience slightly mortified and haven’t returned to any themed restaurant since.
WILL THIS BE THE SINGLE GREATEST REGRET OF MY LIFE?
Let’s have a look at what I would potentially be missing out on.
Calico Cat Café, Tokyo
Once thought to be an oddity and the refuge of lonely women cat fanciers, cat cafés are enjoying a renaissance in Japan. This is probably because Japan is full of high rise buildings which forbid pets and by extension joy…. so sitting a while, sipping on a cup of tea and indulging in some committment free HEAVY PETTING can’t be a bad thing.
Ninja New York, New York
A movie-set style secret underground labarinyth that calls itself a Japanese restaurant. Your ‘ninja’ servers ask you to decide between two routes to your table, the first, the ninja explains, is simple and direct. The second is “dark, dangerous and narrow,” involving a long tunnel and a drawbridge. YES A FRICKIN DRAWBRIDGE, SIGN ME UP.
Waterfall Restaurant, The Philippines
While trying to hold a conversation over the roar of the waterfall at Villa Escudero Resort in San Pablo City may be challenging, I’d begrudgingly forgo listening to the sound of my own voice to experience it. Post lunch dips in the clear spring water are also encouraged.
Baggers Restaurant, Germany
Channelling a pre-apocalyptic world, where in the years prior to rising up and exterminating humans, the hospitality industry has enslaved robotkind, comes Baggers of Nuremberg. This restaurant is run like a well-oiled machine because it actually is a well-oiled machine, where diners are waited on entirely by robots through an automated ordering and food delivery system. I for one welcome our mechanical overlords.
Continuing on with the theme of waiterless dining we have Kayabuki Restaurant, where diners are served by monkeys. Dressed the part, tiny monkeys bring you drinks, hot towels and a dance show. I’m pretty sure that if the robot rebellion is quashed, we can look forward to serving our new ape masters. Here’s a video. It’s all a bit uncomfortable.
Titanic Theatre Restaurant, Melbourne
I do like to end these lists with a local attraction and so here is Melbourne’s own Titantic themed Theatre Restaurant located in Williamstown. Choose to dine in steerage, first class or at the captain’s table and hopefully the only iceburg you’ll hit will be the one at the bottom of your glass. Fingers crossed I’ll see in my 26th birthday here. I know you secretly read this blog Mumsy. Make it happen.
Being grandparent-less, I like to get my old people fix where I can: Helping them cross the street, watching them take out their teeth to play shuffleboard… I once even took a cruise with my Mum and even with our cumulative ages we were the youngest “person” there – IT WAS THE GREATEST 12 DAYS OF MY LIFE.
When not in the immediate company of wrinkled living history, You Tube pays a glorious homage to them. Counting the best down from 10!
10. Greenscreen Grandmas
Grandma Millie and Grandma Fran are both trying really hard to be the cool grandma and outdo eachother with enthusiastic monkey noises… but you’re both winners, ladies. Okay?
9. Grandparents Discover Photo Booth
8. Did You Hear A Click?
A modern classic in the grandparents vs technology genre.
7. 90 Year Old Grandma Dances to Whitney Houston
This cute little granny is nearly completely blind and dancing wildly next to an expensive looking vase. Edge. Of. Your. Seat.
6. Grandparents Just Don’t Understand – Your Favorite Martian
This is a take-off of Kids React To Viral Videos… but with grandparents. It’s like sitting through a sexy part of a movie with your parents.
5. 82 Year Old Trying Pop Rocks
“Don’t take pictures of me…” “Okay, Grandma.”
4. Ghost Riding Grandma
This is what happens when its school holidays and your parents drop you off to spend the day with your grandparents and they really really want you to like them so you’ll come back.
3. Webcam 101: For Seniors
The gold standard of grandparents vs technology YouTube videos. Highlight is around the 1.45 mark when Grandpa shows that some men don’t need a little blue friend to get them going.
2. 100 Year Old Bride
When Fred says, “It’s pretty hard to be blind,” we don’t know whether he’s referring to his eyesight or love at first sight. Both are adorable.
1. 81 Year Old Sweethearts Reunite After About 62 Years
This video made me bawl. Never stop believing in love, everyone. NEVER.
cats in wigs. google search of the week.
(From “say hello to my little friend” blogpost fame)
Though business is clearly booming for Charlie* (his workforce has grown by 100%) frugality is still hard to shake, as evidenced by his complete lack of footwear.
Although hampered by supply issues (There were only 3 cups), the lemonade was as tasty as ever.
Despite this, the dining experience was marred by awkwardness. After I asked for a photo to mark the occasion and we walked back to car, I heard Charlie whisper to his friend “She comes sometimes…”
Like I’m some weirdo loser lemonade stand groupie…
….who keeps a blog about her citrus-soaked adventures…
*Still not his real name
The other day, I heard about a beautiful man named Frank Samways who left his entire fortune of $3million to the Melbourne Lost Dogs Home when he died in July last year. This meant that the centre, which receives no government funding and has over its 100 year history faced imminent closure many times, can continue its great work giving a voice to animals without owners.
Then I started to think about the animals with owners… When the adoring bejewelled hand at the end of the can opener bites the big one, what happens? Well readers, something ridiculous to blog about happens.
Gunther IV, a German Shepard, is considered by the Guiness Book of Records to be the world’s richest dog. In 1992, Austrian Countess Karlotta Lieberstein left Gunther IV’s Daddy, Gunther III a $124 million trust (Yep, G4 never met the old broad). Today, the trust has amassed over $300 million value. Gunther IV, who likes to be called Pimp Daddy successfully bid on Madonna’s Miami’s house (seriously) Apparantly, the whole house has been redecorated with doggy furniture and the kitchen redesigned for the preparation of Gunther IV’s favorite foods. He resides there with his live in caretakers, three women and two men who call themselves the Burgundians (pictured).
Gunther’s personal website (which is now conveniently under construction) previously espoused the following doggy philosophy:
The experts contend that the company of young, joyful and sexually very active people operates to increase the drive, mood, alertness and other cerebral processes of the dog which in turn generates its happiness and, ultimately, better psychological health. Additionally, the company of these youngsters “pleases” the dog and brings him to fulfillment.
So, Gunther IV is basically a really rich old dude with a broken penis, a cocaine addition and an infinity pool who likes it when the neighbourhood kids come over and have sexytimes.
After Gunther, we have Kalu the Congalese chimpanzee.
Continuing the theme of highborn aristocrats who hate their real children and don’t want to leave them a dime, we have Patricia O’Neill, the daughter of the Countess of Kenmore who found Kalu tied to a tree outside the home of the Argentinian Consul-General in war-torn Zaire. Patricia is married to Frank O’Neill, the former Australian Olympic swimmer. When Frank travelled to Sydney to see the Olympics in 2000, his wife changed her will to to endow Kalu her entire £40 million fortune. (Just as a point of comparison, Michael Jackson left his chimp, Bubbles, $1 million…)
Clearly drowning in his own denail, Frank O’Neill says “Every time I swam in the pool, Kalu used to run up and down and hit me on the head, but we had a great relationship. The monkey also stole my cigarettes and drank my beer.” That sounds like some monkey, you guys. I can totally understand why you’d want to leave him all your family’s money.
Trouble Helmsley the Maltese Terrier also sowed some familial dischord when his raging bitch of an owner, Leona Helmsley bypassed her grandchildren to leave her poochie $6 million. The family appealed and reduced the trust to $2 million. Trouble lived in Florida with one of Helmsley’s business associates where he received numerous death threats. I imagine these had something to do with Trouble’s care expenses. His caretaker suggested that $2 million would support the dog for only 10 years—the annual $100,000 for full-time security, $8,000 for grooming, $1,200 for food, $18,000 for medical expenses and a $60,000 guardian fee. Oh okay, sure and I guess the remaining $128,000 would go towards A SHITLOAD OF CHEW TOYS?
Other pets on the rich list include Gigoo the hen who was left $10 million by publishing magnate, Miles Blackwell and a giant 52-year old tortoise called Silverstone who was left $100,000 (slow enough for an easy mugging I say).